Potassium Chlorate

2011 has been a hodgepodge of noteworthy memories. It's been a year of dreams coming true, of finding joy in the simplest things, of appreciating beauty and living in the moment. It's been a year of answered prayers. 

That's not to say that there have been no heartbreaks, no regrets, no disappointments. There were. But I could keep looking back with pain and remorse, or I can look forward with unending optimism and faith that things will always get better. And I choose the latter, because life is too short to be unhappy, and because I have a God that heals the pain, dries the tears, and makes everything alright. 

For the past 365 days, my first words to Him have been "thank You", and there's still more than enough gratitude in my heart for the next 365. Or technically, 366. And I'm ready for 2012!

Silver Bells

Yes, it's Christmas time in the city. I still can't believe I'm spending it here this year, and sometimes I really feel like resenting and cursing and just... hating work for keeping me here. But the truth is, it could have been worse. Although this isn't exactly where I want to be right now, I refuse to ignore the fact that I'm still very, very blessed.

So this Christmas, I'm choosing to be grateful over being bitter. I'm choosing to be appreciative, and I'm choosing to believe that everything happens for a reason--that although I miss my family and I badly, badly wanted to go home, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I'd like to think that somehow, I'm meant to find happiness in this place.

Wherever you may be in the world right now--at home, at work, or out and about, may you find happiness there. May you find Him there and have a merry, merry Christmas. :)

6.672 x 10-¹¹N m² kg-²

I tried, but I couldn't make this photo as heartbreakingly beautiful as actually watching this same leaf detach from its tree and land gracefully onto my shoulder.

And just like how the trees have to let go of their leaves, there are times when we have to let go of the dreams that we have kept in the deepest, safest recesses of our hearts--dreams that we have vigilantly guarded for so long. We have to let them fall to the ground and be washed away to allow ourselves to dream new dreams, and to find the happiness that those empty, lifeless dreams failed to give us. Because happiness, after all, is a choice that we can make.

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6.672 x 10-¹¹N m² kg-² - (Physics) gravitational constant

Can we pretend that airplanes in the nightsky are like shooting stars?

Wish like anything is possible.

Believe like you've never been let down.

Hope with every beat of your heart.

When you finally get the reward for your struggles, 

the joy is simply indescribable. :)

Proverbs 31:30

With a grateful heart, I just stood there, silent.

There are times when I would go to church to light a candle and just stand there, with a heart overwhelmed with gratitude. No petitions, no wishes. Just endless streams of thanks.

I used to wonder whether wanting something more out of life makes a person ungrateful. But lately I've realized that it doesn't. Regardless of how much I want a new phone or a new laptop or a higher salary, it doesn't make me less appreciative of what I do have. I still feel blessed--blessed to have some means of communication with the people I love. Blessed to have a job in the first place. Blessed to be alive and healthy and loved.

In this world of uncertainties, my faith is one of the few things in my life that I am sure of--one thing I know I'd get to keep when everything else is stripped off from me. At the end of the day, I know I could lose everything I have except for Him, but having Him alone is enough reason for me to feel staggeringly blessed.

Drying to Constant Weight

I didn't know I wanted to be a pharmacist until I was making a thick paste out of talcum powder and some liquid I found in my room a little over four years ago. And I didn't know I wanted to be a hospital pharmacist until I applied for a job in a hospital.

Isn't it amazing how life just unravels before your eyes, and everything suddenly makes perfect sense? Like finally knowing the answer to a crossword puzzle after staring at it for so long. Like finally getting the constant weight of your silver chloride precipitates after weighing and drying for countless times. Isn't it amazing? Isn't He amazing?

Hi, I'm Jazel Elaine Ignacio, R.Ph., and I'm a hospital pharmacist. :)

Summer in September

~O~

Reduced to an Anion

I can't remember the last time I felt like this. I've been a walking plus sign for so long; I think I have already given off all the protons I had in my system.

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Anion - a negatively charged atom.

I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

It's the first day of September, and that means I've already completed 1/12 of my Project 365. 

One of the important lessons this project taught me is to live life on a day-to-day basis. Yes, some things need preparation. Sometimes you have to armor yourself for tomorrow's battle. But you can't always do that. Just like how you can't plan all your 365 shots in one day, you can't always plan your whole life. You've got to live it one day at a time.

I miss you, Chubby Cheeks. ♥

Celebrate Life

21 handpicked, meaningful photos for my 21st birthday.

There are just so many things to celebrate, to be grateful for. O:)

Un Año De Retratos

So I finally gave in and started my own 365, and I just reached the one week mark today! For those of you who have no idea what it is, the 365 project is a photography project where you document a year of your life by taking a daily photo.

Today's 365: At your fingertip.

I know it's tough. I know there will be days when taking a picture will be more of a burden than something to look forward to, but I'm hoping to see this through 'til the end. I believe it can help me become more imaginative, more resourceful. Take this photo for instance:

6/365: Solubility

Not everyone would realize that I used povidone-iodine instead of an actual dye. Did you? I'm looking forward to more spontaneity, and definitely more creativity. Join me as I embark in this exciting--albeit a bit scary--journey of photographs and daily musings. :) 

Gray Matter

I had no idea what Kazuo Ishiguro's "Never Let Me Go" was about when I decided to buy it. The usually informative synopsis at the back gave nothing away this time. And although I was a bit shaken up upon connecting the dots, and although I did hesitate to go on, I just knew it was a story I needed to read, an issue I needed to acknowledge.

I pride myself on being an open-minded person, but like any other erring human, I have my own sets of prejudice. 

Ethics vs. Welfare. Objectively, it's easy to pick ethics, I know. I would have picked it myself. But this book made me realize that there are some things that cannot be looked at objectively. That not all things can be distinguished as either black or white. That what's right isn't always what's best.

I think every one of us had fought that battle at least once in our lives: that battle between doing what the society thinks is right and what we think is--if not right--best for us. It's easy to talk, really. It's easy to judge and put your two cents in. It's so easy to say, "That's just so wrong" or "What a horrible person he is" without considering what the offender was thinking, or what his reason was. And it's not fair. It's not fair to take sides without even acknowledging that there are two sides, or without realizing that maybe there is a middle ground. After all, gray is neither black nor white.

Life goes on.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life--
it goes on."

                                                         - Robert Frost

It does. No matter how much you don't want it to, no matter how much you want to hold on to the present. Regardless of whether you're ready for the future or not.

I think it can be a bad or a good thing. A matter of perspective, they say. 

I remember reading "Who Moved my Cheese?", and realizing how much I struggle with changing, or dealing with the changes in my life. I'm one of those people who hold on to things for too long, and sometimes I just wake up dumbfounded and perplexed, wondering how and when things became so different.

But on the bright side, passage of time means healing. Are you grieving? Heartbroken? Struggling? It will come to pass. Regardless of whether the cliche "Time heals all wounds" is true or not, I just know for sure that sadness doesn't last forever. We get over it, we forget it. Because as long as we can find something or someone worth living for, we go on. We keep living. We don't surrender.

Life in Bokeh

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.

I've always loved this song, but I don't think I've ever been more in love with it than I am right now.

Convert To, Convert From

This morning, I discovered that I still have in my wallet an index card I made when I was still reviewing for the board exam--the one for conversions. I guess I really am terrible at letting go  and moving on.

The reason I'm telling you this is because it made me realize a very important thing: I don't think I'm ready to work just yet. Like how I'm holding on to this index card, I'm holding on to what I've known, what I've been for so long. I'm not willing to let go of what's familiar. The truth is, I want to go back to school. I want to take up Master in Chemistry, then eventually become a QC analyst. But I don't know; it's not easy to make decisions right now. And maybe some dreams are meant to be just that--dreams.

Chlorpromazine

"It's madness...

To hate all roses, because you got scratched by one thorn.

To give up all your dreams, because one did not come true.

To lose faith in prayers, because one was not answered.

To give up on your efforts, because one of them failed.
To condemn all your friends, because one of them betrayed.
Not to believe in love, because someone was unfaithful."
                                                        - Antoine de Saint Exupery, The Little Prince       


Remember that, another chance may come up.
A new friend, A new love, A new life.

Never give up on anything!

                                   

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Chlorpromazine - an antipsychotic drug used in the management of schizophrenia and other mental illnesses.

I love you like Fluorine loves electrons.

Family picture. And yes, I love them like Fluorine loves electrons. Maybe more.

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Fluorine is the most electronegative element in the periodic table.

Polymorphism

Okay, so technically my niece is not polymorphic since she does not transform from human to other life (or nonlife) forms. But she might as well be with how frequent she changes her facial expressions. Take these for instance:

What did you just say?

Well, I guess that makes sense.

Are you sure?

OMG! I can't believe it!

Well, that's just fine and dandy.

I swear her adorable-ness is beyond words, beyond pictures. Right, Didie?

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Polymorphism - the existence or formation of different types of crystal of the same chemical compound.

Elaine

No, it's not narcissism. Not really. The poem below was actually written by my indubitably talented poet/songwriter friend Sheila, or Sheilalou as I call her. I'm a big fan of her works and I've been bugging her for the longest time about making a poem for me. She finally completed it yesterday afternoon, and I'm so in love with it I'm posting it here. :)

She sees the world in a different light 
And appreciates the simple joys of life
She travels to different worlds through books
But battles with trials with optimism and prayer.

She’s a girl of few words
But with a heart of gold
She’s passive at times
she’s our wonderwall.

She’s a ball of inspiration
A warrior with a heart
A dreamer with so much passion 
A friend who listens and understands.

Elaine you’re a strong being
Elaine, you’re a beautiful and brave soul
You’re in love with life, you’re a ray of light.
You’re stronger than caffeine
You’re a picture of happiness
You’re a real person
And for the record, you’re [more] infectious than I am. 


Not all people can say their friend wrote them a poem. Thank you Sheilalou, for making me feel so special. <3

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Elaine \e-lai-ne\ as a girl's name is pronounced ee-LAYNE. It is of Greek origin, and the meaning of Elaine is "sun ray, shining light". French variant of Helen.

The Truth About Forever

Shift + RCL

Aaaaaaand nostalgia sets in. For three months, my life revolved around studying for the board exam. And for three weeks, I lived with 14 wonderful people who made the journey less of a burden somehow.

It's hard. It's hard when you've gotten used to having them near you--24/7 at that. The early mornings, the late nights. How we turned on each other not only for answers, but also for comfort, for reassurance, for strength. In those 3 weeks, we became family.

 

And suddenly there's no more signature knock. No more bells. No more squeals and no more talks about mechanisms of action, drug classes, side effects... All that's left are photos. Memories. There's no going back. There's no turning back time.

And at the end of everything, we can't relive, only recall. And I'm missing you, Don Bosco housemates. <3