“I trudged along through each day in its turn, looking up only rarely, eyes locked on the endless swamp that lay before me, planting my right foot, raising my left, planting my left foot, raising my right, never sure where I was, never sure I was headed in the right direction, knowing only that I had to keep moving, one step at a time.”

— Murakami, Haruki: Norwegian Wood

22

Looking at the magnificent sunset right outside my window while waiting for take-off, I realized one thing: Everything's changed, but in some ways things are pretty much the same.

I think we are all in a pursuit of happiness--not over-in-a-heartbeat happiness, but the type of happiness that lasts not just for a minute, or the span of one conversation. Deep down, we are all in search of more than momentary happiness. It's a long journey, yes. Difficult. But not endless, and definitely not impossible.

I'm still waiting. Waiting and trying to live and not just exist while I'm at it. I'm just trying to make the most out of what I'm given.

And I don't mind that much. I can be patient, because I know He makes all things beautiful in His time.

For now, I just have to find beauty and joy in the present--twirling in the rain, sipping a warm cup of mint mocha on chilly nights, looking at photos of my growing niece, going to different places and telling their stories through photographs, and waking up every morning (or evening on some days) with a grateful heart. 

And tonight, I'm going to dream about clear blue skies, beautiful sunsets, and infinite pineapple fields.

As Edwin McCain sings, "These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive."

Thank You Lord, for the 22 years of being loved by You.

And at the end of the day, all that's left are dreams and memories.

It was on the afternoon of August 1 last year while sitting on the couch, having just finished reading "The Disappearing Spoon" when I decided that I was officially bored and I needed something to occupy my time. So I decided to start my own 365 project. I've been following numerous projects by then; I found them very fascinating, intriguing. In fact, Rosie Hardy's 365 is one of my reasons, one of my inspirations for delving deeper into the complex world of photography.

While waiting for the sky to turn a little bit brighter. I love these pajamas. :D

And here we are--Day 365. I can't believe I actually got here. Well, I do admit I missed some days (it seems like I was pretty uninspired last December), but still, I think it means something to have not quit somewhere in the middle. And I'm so glad I saw this through 'til the end, because despite the frustrations, the disappointments, I have learned things photography tutorials couldn't have taught me.

Yes, this project taught me importance of knowing the relationship between ISO, aperture, and shutter speed. That portraits come out better if I used large apertures. That curves can make my photos amazingly brighter. That shooting self-portraits without a remote would give you a workout. But more than that, it taught me so much more about myself-- what I want and don't want to see,  how far I would go to get what I want, how hard I could be on myself. And most of all, this project made me realize that there is beauty even in the simplest things.

So a year has breezed by, and it left me photographs that I can look at and be reminded of how much I imagined, how much I dreamt.  And maybe one day--long after the dusk has been overcome by daylight, long after the rain has stopped pouring, when the cool breeze of summertime embraces your whole being--one day, this dream-filled imagery will be a reminder of how far dreams can take us.