Sodium Thiosulfate

"Be thankful you're a photographer," my friend Butch said. Yes, he used the adjective thankful. Not proud, not happy, not even ecstatic. Thankful. We were talking about glaucoma, which led us to a discussion about how some people were not given the chance to have a glimpse of the world. A few were given the gift only to have it taken away later in life. 

And it might be hard to admit, but the sad truth is that we always take the gift of sight for granted. Every morning I see children sleeping on the streets of Colon, and there were times I wished I didn't have to see them. I'm disappointed with myself for having that thought at all. Yes, it's heartbreaking; it's unfortunate. It's not a wonderful sight, but come to think of it--it's actually a small price to pay for being able to see the magnificent rising and setting of the sun, the cleansing rain, the breathtaking oceans... It's a small price, really.

Be thankful you're a photographer. It doesn't matter whether you're an amateur or a professional. Be thankful that you have that eye, that appreciation for beauty, and that you have the power to make others see this beauty as well.

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Sodium thiosulfate - aka photographer's hypo; used as fixer in film photography.

Heal The World

Leishmaniasis. Sickle cell anemia. Pernicious anemia. AIDS. Gas gangrene. Syphilis. Phocomelia. Gray Baby Sydrome. Pneumonia. Tuberculosis. Filariasis. Meningitis. Leprosy. Poverty. Depression. Hopelessness.

It's a harsh world out there, I realized. I wish there were drugs for everything, and that they can be obtained by those who need them. I wish there were drugs that could change the sad reality.

Never ever lose hope.

Breaking hearts and struggling souls
endlessly searching for loopholes--
a way out, away from the searing pains
away from the bloodstained terrain.


But behold
The night gives way to dawn
A new day, a new life has begun
With the sunrise comes a new start
Never ever lose hope in your heart.

JEI 04.24.11

Christ  is risen; our new life starts today. Happy Easter everyone! :)

And there's no greater love than this.

God is not a harsh God. He's a loving God who shows me the right path when I go astray, who carries me when my feet couldn't go on anymore. My God gives up His life so I can have mine. And there's no greater love than this.

Because I'm Jazel, and I can do anything.

This does not stem so much from confidence, but OPTIMISM. :)

I'd like to believe that optimism can get you where you want to be, because let's face it, I can't do anything. I'm not superwoman; I'm vulnerable. Right now, I'm only dealing with 2 major things--review and yearbook--but I'm barely standing anymore.

When I was appointed as editor-in-chief of the yearbook staff, my first instinct was to refuse. It seemed too much to handle. But after thinking about it for some time, I realized that I've been shying away from responsibilities my whole life. It was time to grow up. So I accepted it, and although it keeps me awake most nights, it's a source of joy as well.

I'm not sure I can say the same thing about the review though. The joy part, I mean. It gives me anxieties, above everything else. June is fast approaching and I'm not getting any smarter. Or maybe I am. Somehow. Optimism. :)

Fall in love everyday.

Now that the long wait is over, it's time to wait all over again...for something else. :)


PS: Thank you Mother and Father! ♥

Will you form a permanent Hydrogen bond with me?

So Kimberly and I witnessed a marriage proposal while studying at Starbucks Oakridge earlier. No, the guy didn't use that "hydrogen bond" line (or else I would have cried and hated the girl.LOL) but it was romantic all the same. A barista actually served the drink to the couple's table, and someone started singing the popular song "I Do". Around the straw was the ring and "Will you marry me?" was written on the napkin. The cutest thing was, the guy actually cried! Awwww.

Obviously it interrupted our otherwise boring PACOP-reading session, but it was a very welcome interruption. Talk about a rare studying experience!

My dream proposal is sort of...out of this world. But hey, we should dream big, right? I want the guy to take me to the top of the Eiffel tower and hand me a volumetric flask that contains a rolled piece of paper inside. The question will be written on the said paper using lover's ink (so of course, he has to know about lover's ink). Like I said, it's sort of out of this world. But I do believe that dreams can come true. :)

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Hydrogen bond - intermolecular force that forms when hydrogen bonds with fluorine, nitrogen, or oxygen; most powerful intermolecular force.

I guess not today, not today, not todaaaaaay...

So I bought something that won't arrive 'til Tuesday or Wednesday, a headband that I won't wear, and a good book that I won't be able to read 'til July. But I'm not disappointed. This just shows how positive I am about the future. O:)

Oxygen

Arguments about lifestyle. Skills we would like to learn. Plans for the future. Sundaes. I needed that. It feels like we haven't sat and just...talked about random stuff in so long. These days, conversations always include drug interactions, or therapeutic category, or mechanism of action. It was definitely a breath of fresh air. Now I'm looking forward to the next day off and the first one hasn't even come yet!

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Oxygen - gas essential for maintenance of life; first aid for hypoxia.

1,3,7-Trimethylxanthine

Before you freak out, know that two of those belong to my friend. You know me, I can be overdramatic sometimes.LOL


So I'm back to studying Inorganic Chem and Inorganic PharChem. I'm trying to follow the timetable I've come up with, and hopefully by the time we take the Pre-Board exams, I'm all ready. I still find it difficult to manage my time and to not sleep all day, but I just really have to believe that I can do this. Otherwise I won't get anywhere.


And sorry for the seemingly endless review rants. It's just that I basically don't have a life outside of it anymore.

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1,3,7-trimethylxanthine - chemical name of caffeine; a purine derivative extracted from Coffea arabica.

You're everything I want to be.

I have to make do with this as the official video is not available for posting.

"Cos you're a god, and I am not

and I just thought that you would know

You're a god, and I am not

and I just thought I'd let you go."
                                -You're a God, Vertical Horizon

Coconut oil is highly saturated. Use oil of vitriol instead.

No, don't, unless you want to end up having black mouth or worse, losing your mouth altogether. We're quite a crazy batch with crazy thoughts, don't you think?LOL

So the first week of April has come and gone and days are still flying by. We're almost at the end of our school-based review, and next week we're heading to the review center of our choice. We have more or less two and a half months left, and there are still lots of things I don't know. There's still so much I need to know, memorize, understand. So many information, so little time!

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Oil of vitriol - aka sulfuric acid; potent corrosive that attacks tissues.

Phytomenadione

I need you to save me
from this vulnerability
because I'm seconds away
from turning completely gray.

It hurts everywhere
It's more than what I can bear
Almost drained, I'm gasping for air
and I'm about to surrender.

I'm all alone in the cold
the pain's exceeded the threshold
so I'm helplessly pleading,
begging you to stop the bleeding.
JEI 04.05.11

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Phytomenadione - aka Vitamin K; responsible for blood clotting.

Drowning

At this rate, I'll already be insane by the time I take the Pharmacist Licensure Exam. Between full-time review, manning the yearbook staff (I'm just so blessed that my members are all responsible people), and trying to get some life somehow, my mind is all over the place—torn between creativity and logic, between imagination and reality. I wish I was superwoman. Because I'm beginning to drown. And I don't know how to swim.

Effervescent Memories

Time is slipping away
escaping from our grasps;
No one is meant to stay
in the unalterable past.


Now all we have are photographs
that take us back to that time—
to the seconds that evaporated,
to the years that sublimed.


All we have are memories
hissing, fizzing, bubbling
to the brim of our minds
reminding us of who we used to be
reminding us of how far we've come.
JEI 04.03.11

Hello, caffeine overdose.

These past few weeks have probably been more stressful than the past 4 years. This time, there are no breaks. I have to retain everything I study until June 29, and trying to imagine myself squeezing all information—from the synonym of NH₄CH₃COO⁻ to the formula for calculation of pH and everything in between—into my brain is quite comical. It's ridiculous because we have our review class from 8AM to 5PM, and whatever time left is for eating, sleeping, and more studying. Arrrrgh, I need more than 24 hours a day. Because really, how much eat-sleep-pharm could my brain take before finally exploding due to accumulated pressure? P=nRT/V, by the way.